Monday, August 24, 2009

Back in the Sneakers Agian.

Today I hopped back on the treadmill. I hadn't ran at all in at least a week, and I haven't had any sort of routine for the past month.

I'm really out of shape. After ten minutes on the treadmill I had to stop. My lungs burned, my shins hurt. Worst of all I felt every little bit of flab smacking and jiggling. It was awful, and I couldn't finish my twenty minutes. I feel pretty terrible about this, and I realized that I can't stop working out. I can't do that to myself.

So my new plan is to really make a a huge effort to work out more consistently. I need to keep on this path, and move forward, and not in reverse.

Watch me Shrink

I'm back down to 198!! YAY! I was really worried there for a minute.

This week the plan is to fit in workouts everywhere I can. This morning I have some time so I'm going to run. I've actually missed running.

I am finding better ways to eat well and use up the stuff we have on hand. So I hope that helps.

Off to go run then clean out my side of the master closet and weed through a ton of art supplies, before the guy that bought my living room set comes to pick it up later today.

This week is going to be nuts. They are going to be packing us out on Monday, and everything needs to be organized and cleaned out by then. *SIGH*

Sunday, August 23, 2009

This week has not exactly been stellar on the diet and exercise front. I haven't had the chance to work out at all with all of the stuff going on as we are getting ready to move. Hub and I have been cleaning out the house for the past few days. We never really had a chance to move into our town house three years ago, so alot of the closets are full of junk that we didn't weed out in the last move. Also, our townhouse complex does not allow yard sales, so we have been listing all of the stuff that still has life left in it on craigs list. In case you've never done this, it's time consuming and your phone never stops ringing. Oh and your parading a bunch of freaks through your home... Awesome! So glad I'm at work today and Hub is handling all of the inquaries today.

Oh and eating... Don't get me started on how impossible it is to eat healthy when your trying to eat all the stuff in your fridge and pantry. Did I mention there is chocolate lava cake in my freezer? Nope... Well there is... ( * disclaimer * they were from an anniversary and yeah we never ate them... Trash now...) anyhow... It's hard squishing all the random junk into a suitable lunch, really hard when you consider I'm still working, so it has to be portable. So that random can of green beans won't work. We're trying not to buy anything but I'm stopping on the way home to get milk and bread, we have too much dry cereal and coffee to not have milk.

Wow this is really rambally... Oh well it's all I can manage given the current state of my insane life.

We are about to kick off a huge road trip. We leave here sometime the first week in September and we are driving our two cars to Detroit, with a stop over in Pittsburg. From Detroit we are driving my car to Pennsacola Fl. On the way down we are stopping in Nashville for a night. Check back for pictures and tales from the road. Oh and then you get to read about what it's like to live in a hotel room on a Navy base for a month... Boy won't that be fun...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Gah Busy ~ And ~ Watch me Shrink - Late Edition.

This week was chaos. As you may have read last week my best friend came back into my life, after about 8 years. Its almost like nothing has changed. She seems to be doing better now. I hope she continues down the road to getting her life straightened out.

My Mom and her fiance came down for a long weekend. We ha a lot of fun and I missed her a lot. I'm glad she came down.

So now you know why I haven't posted in about a week, sorry ... bad blogger... I know... I suck... I'm sorry.

This weeks weigh in was not good. I weighed in at 201 ... yeah... not good. Not good at all. Sunday night we went out to the beach and camped out at the bar. I drank, a few. So I think my weigh in may not be very accurate. I have avoided the scale like the plague since Monday for fear it would still say the same thing.

Even so, I feel like crap because, I haven't worked out in a while, since at least last week, and my eating has been way out of control. I don't even know how out of control it was because I didn't keep very good track of it.

This week I am going to work out every day (starting tomorrow) and eat well. I'm going to get myself back on track.

My cycle went away again. It had been coming pretty regular up until last month, since I started losing weight. I'm bummed about that... really bummed. So hopefully that will come back soon.

We are getting ready for our move the week after next, so I will be really busy cleaning things out and getting organized. Right now my life is wrapped up in lists.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Great Escape.

I spent my day off getting lost in the various cities in the middle of the east coast. I got her. She's safe. I picked her up and through the luggage in the truck and off we went to my home. I'm happy. So is she. She is smiling and laughing and that is such a big turn around from how she sounded on the phone.

It's almost like that 10ish years that I didn't know where she was never happened.

I missed my friend.

Now we are getting ready for my Mom to come visit of Friday. This is going to be a great weekend. :)

More next week when I have a minute.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Black Cloud.

There once was a girl, she grew up in a world covered by a black cloud. Everywhere around her was violence. Her father beat and verbally abused her every waking moment. She began to believe it was normal to live in a world of fear and hate, to feel empty and worthless. It didn't seem odd that when she was a teenager her boyfriend began to beat and rape her and make her feel more worthless and empty inside everyday. He said he'd kill her family if she told a sole or left him. He was crazy, so she believed him and went right on pretending everything was fine.

She grew up graduated high school with one of her "I'm hiding the pain and horror inside" smiles on her face. She counted the days till she could go to college. She would finally be safe there, she told herself. But not on weekends. Weekends she went home, her mother needed her. They were all each other had.

Her mom divorced that asshole that was allegedly her father in November that year. (She still shutters to think that some where inside her is even one speck of his DNA) Because; her mom had that strength and courage, she found her own courage deep inside to say she was done with the violence in her life. She told that boy he was gone for good. Her mother knocked his teeth out when she found out what he had done. She hasn't spoken to her "father" in five years.

Even now, violence makes her sick inside.

That girl is me. All of that is true. It took me along time to admit that out loud. I healed, so did my mother. Yes there are scars but the wounds have closed over. I married a great man, and I live a great life.

I thought I had escaped the horrific dark cloud of domestic violence. I guess not.

I just found out that the only real friend I had growing up is in the same boat I found my self in not too long ago. Tonight I sit here drinking straight Jack on ice just trying to make the shaking stop and the awful thoughts of what that ass hat is doing to her go away, or at least dull. I'm formulating a plan to save her. She's only a few hours away. I'm closer then both of our families and he'd never find her her here.

She was my best friend. We were inseparable. She lived at my house. We were sisters. She comes from a long line of screwed up just like I do. But hers is a bit worse. Her grandmother raised her, her mom ran off and her father was in jail. My family took her in and adopted her (not legally). We shared and room and our secrets, as we grew up together, alone.

My mom offered to formally adopt her. Instead of letting that happen, her grandmother, locked her up in a home for screwed up kids, after having her locked up in the mental hospital. Her grandmother alleged she was suicidal. She wasn't. She was living at my house, her grandmother had no way of knowing that without a crystal ball. Her grandmother just didn't want to lose the money the state paid her for being a guardian.

Sadly I lost touch with her after a long string of homes her grandmother put her away in. She would run away and my family would pick her up. Sometimes she'd stay for a week or two. Then she would be put in a home that was father away, until finally we lost her.

I haven't stopped thinking about her since. I've missed her everyday. I missed her when I got married, and I miss her now that my mom is sick. I lost my sister.

I'm sick to my stomach thinking about what could be happening to her tonight. All I keep thinking about is that he could be hitting her right now, and I could stop it. I could stop it this time. She needs me and I will stop it. I'm tring to find away to arrange me picking her up. Easier said then done. He has blocked the computer so she can't use it. She's not "allowed" to go out, and he tracks her phone calls.

What he doesn't know is that I have a number local to my home state... but I'm not there. Hold on, I'm comming for you.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Show and Tell ~ Ice Cream

Show and Tell

This week I brought my home made strawberry ice cream to share with the class. Since you can't taste through the Internet, here is the recipe with photos.

Step 1. Rinse and cut up 2 pints of fresh straw berries. (The nasty bruised up ones seem to taste the best, your going to puree them any way.) Save about 6 nice berries to dice up to add as chunks. * I am of the school of belief that all good ice cream should have chunks. *

Step 2. Puree the berries in the food processor. ( If you don't have one a a blender will work) Strain out some of the pulp and seeds. Put the berry mush in the freezer to hang out and get cold.

Step 3. Whisk 2 eggs until they are as blended as possible ( They will be a pretty custard yellow color). Then add 2 Cups of half and half, 1 Cup of whipping cream, 1 1/4 cup of sugar, and 1/4 tsp of vanilla. Whisk till all is combined.

Step 4. Get your strawberry mush out of the freezer, and add it to your cream mix. Put your pretty pink ice cream mix in the freezer for about half an hour or so, to cool down. DO NOT FREEZE IT SOLID

Step 5 Put your ice cream mix into your ice cream machine and freeze per the directions. It took my machine about a half hour.

Step 6. Mix in the strawberry chunks that you set aside earlier. You can either eat it now or you can put it in the freezer and let it set up. I put mine in some glad*ware and froze it, because my mom is coming to visit next week. This week I will be making chocolate and vanilla too.

*Oh and you may need to put an alarm on it because it is seriously good, and stray family members may eat it...

**I never said this was healthy... I just said it is good... Don't worry I wont tell your nutritionist. ; )

Go over to Mel's and see what everyone else is showing this week.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

We Interrupt This Mundane Wednesday...

... to bring you some awesome news.

I did it!! I got below 200!!! Drum roll please! 198!!! YIKES! I fell off the scale. really... I have no idea why I lost two pounds. Yesterday was the crappiest eating day since I started this. There were pancakes for dinner no less. I am so happy!!! Anyhow off to clean the house and work out, then take the dog to get his nails clipped. So much for a day off right, lol.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Watch me Shrink

I didn't. I'm the same again... on the scale. I have 2 pairs of pants that are falling off from the moment I put them on so I think Ive lost some inches.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Call me insane, because my plan is to do more of the same. Kick ass workouts and eating well this week.

Off to do my house work pay bills and make a shopping list so I don't forget cranberry juice. I think I'm getting a bladder infection. *sigh*