Show and Tell

I've been looking at all of the posts over on Mel's blog for show and tell for awhile now. I've wanted to post one but I never got around to it.

This is my very first one.

This is my little branch of the family tree.




This is Hub. I took this picture of him on a train in the Smokey Mountains. We went on vacation there after his first deployment.



This is our first baby Ty. ( and those are my legs... ) He was still a puppy in that picture. He's a Miniature Pincher... but he thinks hes a people kid... so don't tell him. In fact that was taken in our first apartment. We had bugs bigger then him... but that's a story for another post. He's a ball of energy, that never stops moving... unless there are snacks... then he will hold still long enough to inhale them and take off bouncing again.



This is Buddy... he answers to Bubba. He's our second baby. We adopted him two years ago, but it feels like he's always been a part of our family. He's Ty's polar opposite. He is a bag of sleepy, slow wrinkles, that only moves for snacks. (We like snacks...) He's some sort of Shar Pei mix but no one seems to be able to tell us what he's mixed with. He's a bit neurotic, and scared of things that make no sense... like grass, but only after it is cut. He refuses to step on it and stays on the brick path in the yard. He's sorta like Monk in dog form. We love him anyway.



This is me. Pre-fertility drug induced weight gain... all 40 pounds of it. I'm happy to say I'm almost back there. I'm soaking up some sun outside of the lorikeet cage at Busch Gardens.

I thought it was time to introduce the main players in my blog seeing as how I've been writing this blog since January.

Head over to Mel's and see what everyone else is showing.

If anyones knows how to get your pictures to fit in the space better I would love to know. I would post many more pictures if I did . Thanks for looking!!!

Watch Me Shrink ~ or ~ Ouch Ouch Push-ups Hurt.

Big suprise... or not I still weigh 200. I'm not all that upset about it because I know it will go down this week. I think this is my big hill to get over, and when I do it will be so much easier and better.

I'm planing on working out everyday this week. I'm already sore. Mostly my arms... from push ups. OUCH OUCH OUCH!!! I just did 40. Yeah I know right 40! Insane!

I started the no carb thing today. I was weak... there were goldfish... the whole wheat kind... Tommrow I will be better.

This is the one where I'm sad at work

I just told the condo board president that Hub got orders and we will be leaving in September. Not only that but my last day here will be August 30 th. I have to tell my boss when she gets here. I wish I didn't have to, but I do. I'm sad I don't want to quit this job, and leave all of these good people.

I'm going to miss this... I'm going to want this back...

Gearing up.

I went to the grocery store today and I got a truck load of fruits and veggies. I also got Nesquick. I know... actually it turns out its not bad for you. It has like 30% of the calcium you need in a day... ummmm guys... and its CHOCOLATE! * gasp!!!
I got home and cleaned out my fridge. All the bread and bad stuff and spoiled food gone. I feel like I'm starting fresh, and that's a good thing.

Right now I'm watching Ruby on the Style network, I'm sorta addicted to it. She's so motivating, and her story is pretty amazing. When I watch it I always feel like if she can lose 100 + pounds by working out and eating right, then I can really reach my goal, and run, and get in that extra work out, and I can certainly continue to eat healthy.

The plan

I am still stuck at 200. Im working out and eating under my calories everyday and nothing seems to be takeing off the weight. So, I have decided to cut the carbs out until I lose five pounds. Hopefully that will happen in a the next few weeks.

Starting on Monday, my plan is to eat mostly fruit and veggies and protien. Wish me luck.

weird... just weird...

I trained my replacement at work today. Have you ever done that? It's weird... just weird... and it happened fast. I know they need to replace me, but still I only left a note letting her know about the possibility of my move on Monday... fast... and weird...

Also I've had a migraine for two damn days. I'm going on a Motrin hunt... wana come?

Watch Me Shrink...

Or not... Yeah I stayed the same this week, but it doesn't really supprise me. I've eaten alot of carbs and not worked out except that one time in two weeks.

My goals this week:

I am going to eat loads of fruit and veggies and proteen... NOT CARBS... yeah... me and carbs not friends...

Im still going to use Lose it on my I*phone to keep track of my calories and exercize. I'm going to aim at being about 400 calories under my limit every day (That's 2800 extra calories every week that I wont be eating, and that is equal to about 3/4 of a pound) . I find a lot of the time I really dont need some of the food I'm eating. I'm just eating it to fill up my calories for the day.

I am going to work out every other day. I am going to do my 20 minute run, then a strength training session. Possibly on the off days I might do Yoga, because I am still sore from what I did on Sunday night and I think all the streching will help that.

I need to find a good way to kill cravings. It's been really bad lately in the I'd kill for chocolate department. Any sugestions?

Im off now to work out, even though I really dont want to because Im still sore from Sunday.

Working it.

I just finished my first workout in two weeks! I feel great! My heart's pumping and my muscles are sore (they will kill tomorrow). I feel alive! The best part is I can breath and I worked off a lot of stress. With Hub being gone it builds up faster, so its great to have my outlet back again. I ran for twenty minutes, I did week 3, it kicked my butt a little but no more than it did before I was sick. I feel really great knowing that my progress didn't go in reverse. I burned off 304 calories. YAY!

I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

35 down 25 to go! I'm going to do it!

Changes.

This year has been all about change for me. I have spent all of it so far changing my body to live a healthier life, and in turn I have changed the way I live my life. So it is fitting that this year of change comes complete with a geographical change as well.

We got orders to move to Michigan. Its a bit more complicated then that of coarse because the Navy is involved. Hub has to be in Florida mid September for training for a month and I'm going to tag along, because well beach time would be great and I don't really know what I would do with myself for a month with no apartment or home base. Then we have a whole month in limbo getting settled with a brief stop over in Great Lakes to see just where we will end up.

I've known this was coming for a few months now, but I've been avoiding thinking about it really. I wanted to wait for the orders came through to make sure, before I made any plans. I'm nervous about this move. Mostly I'm scared we will get there and I wont be able to find work, and we wont be able to find a rental house. I'm really scared to move to the crater of this recession that this country is stuck in.

I'm so scared that I haven't even mentioned this to my boss yet. I'm really bummed about leaving this job. I know its not the greatest or the best job going but, I love it. The people are great and I feel needed there. I feel awful about telling my boss that I will have to leave. I have to tell her on Wednesday. Right now I feel like there is an elephant on my chest. For the first time ever I really don't want to move. I'm glad its shore duty time and that Hub wont be going underway, really glad. I just wish I could take my whole life with me this time.

I know this is sort of an irrational fear, and that I can and will find something to do out there, but I cant help it. I might just go to school and the RE. Oh yeah, because it is shore duty, I will be heading back to the RE, as soon as I find one... if anyone knows of a good on it the Metro Detroit area and would like to share that would be great! ( Thanks!)

The next month and a half will be a count down to moving. I'll of coarse be writing about it because that's what I do. Thinking about all that I've got to do is making my head spin, somehow I will get it all done though. I always do.

Things I have to do / start doing right now:

* Start weeding out all of the junk I don't want to move, and get rid of it. ( This is going to be a big job, we have a lot of junk.)

* Tell my boss.

* Get the dogs ready to stay at my mother in law's house for about a month... with out us... ( I don't want to leave my babies!!! That's the worst part.)

This list will grow.

On a happier note, my mommy is coming to visit! : ) I'm so happy!!! She will be here for a long weekend in August. I can't wait! I miss her a lot!

Watch me Shrink

It feels like I just did this a couple of days ago. : )

I lost another pound! I'm down to 200 even. I'm getting pretty excited next week there will be a 1 in front instead of a 2. I really can't wait.

I wasn't able to work out this week because I'm sick. I'm still getting over it and I have way to much chest congestion to even think about jumping on the treadmill.
So this week I'm still focusing on getting better.

Watch Me Shrink

I know its not Monday, I'm sorry that this is late but I've been sick. Hub had the plague and he shared it. So I went to the doctor yesterday and I have pharyngitis and strep. Great! ... not!

I lost two pounds I am now 201. Something good came of not really wanting to eat because I can't really swallow.
I don't really endorse this diet. But hey if your sick you might as well shrink a little right?


This week I'm really focusing on getting better.

Sorry this post stinks.

After all this time nothing ever changes, and everything stays the same.

Last night I dreamt I brought a little girl to a carnival on the Forth of July. Her blue dress spun out as she twirled in circles picking wild flowers, her hair the same color as mine blowing in the breeze. I couldn't see her face, but I knew she was my daughter. I knew because I called her Katie. We laughed and played and I watched her watching the fireworks. She called me Mommy.

Its been so long now and yet that wound remains a festering gangrenous sore around my broken heart. Its the fourth of July, and I'm supposed to be happy. I'm supposed to be with friends watching the fireworks and being proud of my husband, and my country. But I'm not. I'm alone sitting on the couch in my empty house watching a movie and drying the tears I cried over the family I should have had. Hub's on duty, so there were no cook outs or fireworks for me, in fact I don't think we have ever had a Fourth of July that we spent together, so that's nothing new.

I just wish the pain would dull for me like it seems to do for everyone else I know. It's been four years and sometimes I feel still feel like someone just ripped out my heart. I think maybe, this is because I lost the one thing I wanted most, and I didn't realize it until she was gone. I feel foolish in a way for missing someone who was never actually here, but I do. I miss the idea of a family of my own and the hope I felt. I lost that innocence, and nothing will ever be the same.

I feel torchered by this because I can't have Katie in life, but I have her in my dreams. I dream about her just before every holiday, and special event. The dreams are always happy. I always wake up happy, but god forbid if I'm alone on that day. All I can think about is what it would be like if I had the life in my dreams.

I still miss her, and its so unfair.

Running

I am typing this post on my iPhone so please bear with me.

I have not gotten on my treadmill once this week. I really do miss running, but I am completly lacking motivation. I have worked out this week. Hub and I have gone to the beach twice and we swim laps in the ocean. I feel a little like i'm failing. I don't like that one bit. I know that if I go home tonight and hop on the treadmill I can get in 2 runs this week and that would be better than where I am right now, but I'm not sure that will happen. Hub is at home and spending his rare Friday off sick, so Im sure that anything that gets today will be on me. I'm going to try my hardest to get out of my slump today and get off my ass and RUN!

I am also postponing the 30 day shred because when I went to the store the other day they wanted 20 bucks for it. I had looked on same stores website and it was 8 dollars. So needless to say I will be ordering it online.


Have a good 4 th of July everyone !!