It's been seven years.

Dear Katie,

Seven years ago my heart stopped beating, but the world kept moving. You were there growing under my heart, and then you weren't. I am forever broken.

I sat there on the beach that day staring out to sea. Trying to will your little spirit to where ever your daddy was. Hoping for a minute you could be with him too. I sat in the cold sand numb, and trying hard not to fall apart. I remember letting the cold grains of sand run through my fingers just so I could focus on something other then the crushing emptiness inside of me. I left a big part of myself right there. A part that I will never get back.

You would be seven this year. You would be in first grade, all happy and pink and obsessed with Barbie like I was. You would have lived in six different houses, in six different towns. You have a little brother, who has no idea that he is your little brother. I watch him play and wonder if you would have looked like him. If you would have had blonde hair and blue eyes too.

Seven years later I still miss you. My heart is still breaking. A little less than it used to but this time of year my heart shatters all over again. I'm writing this to you so you know you’re missed, and loved.

I will always love you my baby.

Weekly Wednesday Weigh-in.

1. Reiterate my goal and where I stand in reference to this goal. (BMI info from this website)
I didn't lose anything thing this week. I think maybe AF is around the corner. ( With PCOS you never really know.)

Starting BMI: 30.8
Starting weight: 227

Last Week’s Weight: 227
Current Weight:224
Goal Weight : 190

Last Week’s BMI: 30.8
Current BMI:30
Goal BMI: 25

2. Discuss what I am going to do to achieve my goals.

I'm still going to use the lose it app to track my calories.

Last week I felt kinda bad when I ran, so I think for a while I'm going to lay off running, and do some work out dvds to build myself up to a point that I can run more easily.

I'm still going to drink more water. Some days I did really good. Others the Crystal lite and Diet Pepsi called to me a little too loudly.

Bloggers I follow that are participating:
If you want to join in just leave me a comment, so I can follow your progress too!

The Donor Diva is TTC #2

If you’re doing it too please leave a comment. I wasn't able to get to most of your blogs. I had an issue with the comments. But I think it is fixed now.