Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Spring Adventures
Its been a busy few months around these parts. We've been to a baseball game, visited Chicago, we've been on a camping trip, and last night Jack filled up his little pool, for a pool party.
That's Jack being a Turtle at the Chicago Childrens' Museum.
We're spending the summer trying to cram in as much fun, and seeing as many things around these parts as we can, before we move. Oh, not sure I've said anything on here, but we have verbal orders ( nothing is set in stone till we get the paper ones, sometime in the next few months.) but we are going to New Hampshire for a few months, then off to San Diego. I'm pretty excited! I've never been to California, and all my family is in New Hampshire, it will be nice to get to see them all again, and let Jack do some growing up around the things, and people I grew up with.
Anyhow, summer plans... We have a few more camping trips planed. We bought a pop up this year, its an '82 but its in really good shape, and we plan to use it. We are going up to the U.P. and to see Mackinac Island. We are having a HUGE moving sale this summer at some point. I've started gathering all the things we don't use, and cleaning them up and pricing them. Its amazing how much stuff we have. Of coarse there will be trips to the lake to swim, and all the typical summer stuff. On top of all that we are preparing to move. It's going to be an awesome summer.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Stuff.
Time for an update, list style.
We put in for orders again this month. Thankfully, there were other options than Guam. ( That doesn't mean we will get any of them, but at least it makes me feel a bit better.)
Waiting again... right smack in the middle of the two worst weeks of the month. *Sigh* Don't think I'll see the elusive two lines. But still hoping a little.
Jack spent the night in the hospital the week before last. He had Croup. He's okay now... It was actually kind of BS that we had to stay, as the nurses kept him up all night, and made him worse. As soon as we got home and he got some sleep, he was 100 times better.
Watched the Red Wings get pushed around the ice on Sunday... they lost... it was sad. We have Tickets for this weeks game too. I hope they do better.
Jack was at Hub's mom's house while we were at the game and fell outside and split his nail. It looks so gross, and I think his nail is going to come off, but it doesn’t seem to be bothering him at all.
I fell off the low carb bus while Jack was in the hospital... I'm getting back on now, but its alot harder.
Went for a jog today, the wind was so bad I thought we(Jack and I) would blow away. About a quarter of the way down the trail the stroller started to wobble alot, making it hard to push while walking, never mind running. Last year when we were in Utah Hub was messing around and broke it. We put it back together as best we could, but now it looks like time to start looking for a new jogger. :(
I got new tires on the truck today. I'm getting my windshield replaced tomorrow.
We put in for orders again this month. Thankfully, there were other options than Guam. ( That doesn't mean we will get any of them, but at least it makes me feel a bit better.)
Waiting again... right smack in the middle of the two worst weeks of the month. *Sigh* Don't think I'll see the elusive two lines. But still hoping a little.
Jack spent the night in the hospital the week before last. He had Croup. He's okay now... It was actually kind of BS that we had to stay, as the nurses kept him up all night, and made him worse. As soon as we got home and he got some sleep, he was 100 times better.
Watched the Red Wings get pushed around the ice on Sunday... they lost... it was sad. We have Tickets for this weeks game too. I hope they do better.
Jack was at Hub's mom's house while we were at the game and fell outside and split his nail. It looks so gross, and I think his nail is going to come off, but it doesn’t seem to be bothering him at all.
I fell off the low carb bus while Jack was in the hospital... I'm getting back on now, but its alot harder.
Went for a jog today, the wind was so bad I thought we(Jack and I) would blow away. About a quarter of the way down the trail the stroller started to wobble alot, making it hard to push while walking, never mind running. Last year when we were in Utah Hub was messing around and broke it. We put it back together as best we could, but now it looks like time to start looking for a new jogger. :(
I got new tires on the truck today. I'm getting my windshield replaced tomorrow.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
11 pounds!
I started my low carb diet back up on Tuesday. I am down 11 pounds as of this morning!! WHOOT! I don't feel like I'm starving myself, and I'm not moody. I feel satisfied with my meals and one or two little snacks every day. I'm just watching my carbs, trying to stay around 25 net carbs for the day. ( carbs - fiber) and I cut out sugar and white stuff. ( ie flour and potatoes.) I don't miss it too much. Right now I have meatballs cooking and it smell great. They will be my dinner tonight and lunch/ breakfasts for a couple days.
The only downside is Phil refuses to eat any of the meals I'm making. He has a little bit to loose before his annual fitness test. ( He has to be in I started my low carb diet back up on Tuesday. I am down 11 pounds as of this morning!! WHOOT! I don't feel like I'm starving myself, and I'm not moody. I feel satisfied with my meals and one or two little snacks every day. I'm just watching my carbs, trying to stay around 25 net carbs for the day. ( carbs - fiber) and I cut out sugar and white stuff. ( ie: flour and potatoes.) I don't miss it too much. Right now I have meatballs cooking and it smell great. They will be my dinner tonight and lunch/ breakfasts for a couple days.
The only downside is Phil refuses to eat any of the meals I'm making. He has a little bit to loose before his annual fitness test. ( He has to be in Navy standards) He saw that I’ve lost 11 pounds, and decided that he would not do the smart thing and trust his wife. He wants to eat only fish and veggies, and dumb chemical meal replacement shakes (GAG!) I give him about two days till he says lets go get ice cream. So with him making his own meals I feel like I have to wash every dish in the kitchen 3 times a day. Its making me nuts! Oh well. at least the scale is moving in my favor.
I feel better already. My gut isn’t on my legs when I sit down like it was before, and my pants fit! I can actually do them up. I am so happy about that! :)
Oh well off to enjoy my alone time. Hub took Jack to the indoor playground. And by "enjoy" I mean do laundry... :(
The only downside is Phil refuses to eat any of the meals I'm making. He has a little bit to loose before his annual fitness test. ( He has to be in I started my low carb diet back up on Tuesday. I am down 11 pounds as of this morning!! WHOOT! I don't feel like I'm starving myself, and I'm not moody. I feel satisfied with my meals and one or two little snacks every day. I'm just watching my carbs, trying to stay around 25 net carbs for the day. ( carbs - fiber) and I cut out sugar and white stuff. ( ie: flour and potatoes.) I don't miss it too much. Right now I have meatballs cooking and it smell great. They will be my dinner tonight and lunch/ breakfasts for a couple days.
The only downside is Phil refuses to eat any of the meals I'm making. He has a little bit to loose before his annual fitness test. ( He has to be in Navy standards) He saw that I’ve lost 11 pounds, and decided that he would not do the smart thing and trust his wife. He wants to eat only fish and veggies, and dumb chemical meal replacement shakes (GAG!) I give him about two days till he says lets go get ice cream. So with him making his own meals I feel like I have to wash every dish in the kitchen 3 times a day. Its making me nuts! Oh well. at least the scale is moving in my favor.
I feel better already. My gut isn’t on my legs when I sit down like it was before, and my pants fit! I can actually do them up. I am so happy about that! :)
Oh well off to enjoy my alone time. Hub took Jack to the indoor playground. And by "enjoy" I mean do laundry... :(
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
updates.
It’s been a while so I think it’s time for an update. (Damn straight I'm using bullets.)
* Started my low carb diet back up. It's not too bad so far. But it's only day one. I'd like to lose 30 pounds before we move. We'll see how that goes.
* Holding out a small-ish chunklet of hope that I might get knocked up again before we move and the reality of underways and deployments makes that dream highly unlikely for a while again.
* Still don't know where we are moving. Still hoping that we won’t get stuck with the G word.
* We bought a pop up camper! It's 30 years old... but it’s in really good shape. Looking forward to a lot of camping this season.
* Jack's vocabulary is exploding. He picks up at least one new word every day. He mastered Please ( pese!)... so everything is Bite please, more more more ... please, point to random thing at store Please *bats eyelashes.*
* I have some form of plague right now. It started as a rash on my cheek, and morphed into an awful head cold, with green gunk coming out of every hole in my face. (Sorry that was gross.)
* Planning on doing 3 mile walks everyday.(After the plague goes away.) Weather permitting. Wish me luck. Exercise has not been something that has come easy since having Jack. In fact I've sucked at it. I can't seem to find a balance between exercise and getting the stuff done. I'm hoping to change that.
* My house looks like a Toys R us exploded. I need some sort of organizing system. I just don't know where to start.
* Jack is in love with outside, and the slide, and playing with Balls. He knows the difference between a football and a basketball and a soccer ball and a baseball... and will tell you. Which makes any trip to the store super fun. He's all "foot ball pese." "Baskit ball pese!" "base ball pese!!" It's so hard to say no, and right now balls are every where.
* I'm pretty sure this is going to be the best spring/ summer ever! Because, Jack is exploding with all sorts of fun stuff.
* Started my low carb diet back up. It's not too bad so far. But it's only day one. I'd like to lose 30 pounds before we move. We'll see how that goes.
* Holding out a small-ish chunklet of hope that I might get knocked up again before we move and the reality of underways and deployments makes that dream highly unlikely for a while again.
* Still don't know where we are moving. Still hoping that we won’t get stuck with the G word.
* We bought a pop up camper! It's 30 years old... but it’s in really good shape. Looking forward to a lot of camping this season.
* Jack's vocabulary is exploding. He picks up at least one new word every day. He mastered Please ( pese!)... so everything is Bite please, more more more ... please, point to random thing at store Please *bats eyelashes.*
* I have some form of plague right now. It started as a rash on my cheek, and morphed into an awful head cold, with green gunk coming out of every hole in my face. (Sorry that was gross.)
* Planning on doing 3 mile walks everyday.(After the plague goes away.) Weather permitting. Wish me luck. Exercise has not been something that has come easy since having Jack. In fact I've sucked at it. I can't seem to find a balance between exercise and getting the stuff done. I'm hoping to change that.
* My house looks like a Toys R us exploded. I need some sort of organizing system. I just don't know where to start.
* Jack is in love with outside, and the slide, and playing with Balls. He knows the difference between a football and a basketball and a soccer ball and a baseball... and will tell you. Which makes any trip to the store super fun. He's all "foot ball pese." "Baskit ball pese!" "base ball pese!!" It's so hard to say no, and right now balls are every where.
* I'm pretty sure this is going to be the best spring/ summer ever! Because, Jack is exploding with all sorts of fun stuff.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Negitive.
This morning I got up and for about the millionth time I got out a pregnancy test. I took it. I waited. I stared and analyzed. I dissected it. I stared and I analyzed again. I held it up to the light. I did all the crazy things an Infertile will do to conjure up a line, when there isn't even a chance of one to conjure. Of course it was negative. It's always, with few exceptions, Negative. White as the driven snow negative. Most months I find something that might, maybe look like a line. I wait and pee on another one and of course its white, save for the control line.
Every month I invent a whole slew of symptoms. My boobs hurt, I cry at the drop of a hat, I took two naps this weekend, I've been nauseous, and throwing up all weekend. I'm craving Rice Crispies. (The list this month.) So of course by the time I unwrap the pee stick I'm convinced it'll be positive. Most of the time, I'm able to push away the disappointment of it, and hide it away. Today though, not so much. I'm not feeling strong enough to lie to myself.
I don't think that a second baby is going to just happen. The first took a lot of time, work, worry, and frustration. But every month a little part of me grows loud, and screams out in hope that maybe this month is the month. It never is. It probably never will be. I feel a little like I'm asking for lightning to strike the same barren ground for a second time. I know that it’s unlikely. Especially, given the current state of my body.
I want another child so very desperately. I don't want to make Jack live this nomadic life of ours, without someone to go through it with. I don't want him to feel alone. I had hoped that the pain of not being able to have what comes easily for so many, would go away after I had Jack. It didn't. It just changed a little bit. Now I mostly think about Jack, growing up alone, without someone to experience things with. Without that built in playmate. I think about all the moves this family will make, and all the friends my little man will leave behind. I just don't want him to go through that by himself. I feel like it'll be my fault.
I know that there are tons of only children out there, and some even grew up in a family like ours. They turned out fine. We had plans for a house full of babies. I just feel like maybe that’s not in the cards for us anymore. It hurts, more than I thought it would.
Every month I invent a whole slew of symptoms. My boobs hurt, I cry at the drop of a hat, I took two naps this weekend, I've been nauseous, and throwing up all weekend. I'm craving Rice Crispies. (The list this month.) So of course by the time I unwrap the pee stick I'm convinced it'll be positive. Most of the time, I'm able to push away the disappointment of it, and hide it away. Today though, not so much. I'm not feeling strong enough to lie to myself.
I don't think that a second baby is going to just happen. The first took a lot of time, work, worry, and frustration. But every month a little part of me grows loud, and screams out in hope that maybe this month is the month. It never is. It probably never will be. I feel a little like I'm asking for lightning to strike the same barren ground for a second time. I know that it’s unlikely. Especially, given the current state of my body.
I want another child so very desperately. I don't want to make Jack live this nomadic life of ours, without someone to go through it with. I don't want him to feel alone. I had hoped that the pain of not being able to have what comes easily for so many, would go away after I had Jack. It didn't. It just changed a little bit. Now I mostly think about Jack, growing up alone, without someone to experience things with. Without that built in playmate. I think about all the moves this family will make, and all the friends my little man will leave behind. I just don't want him to go through that by himself. I feel like it'll be my fault.
I know that there are tons of only children out there, and some even grew up in a family like ours. They turned out fine. We had plans for a house full of babies. I just feel like maybe that’s not in the cards for us anymore. It hurts, more than I thought it would.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Waiting.
It's that time agian. We are waiting on orders. The options are coming out this comming week, and I'm hopeing that this month's are better than last month's.
I'm holding out hope that we can get orders here:
Yup... thats Hawaii. I think that would be a cool place to be for 3 years. If not that than hopefully near my family. Neither of which is likely, but a girl can dream right?!
I'm slowly starting to weed out all of our stuff. We have collected WAY too much junk over the years. I need to start on the basement next week. I've gotten so used to the constant change of moving, that I'm itching for it. I feel like we have been in one oceanless place for too long. Its time for change.
The not knowing where or exactly when is kinda driving me nuts though. I just want to know. That way I can make a "plan"... not that anything I can look at from my comphy couch will actually work out when we get there, but it makes me feel better to know what lies ahead.
Oh well... Waiting again. My whole life is about waiting.
I'm holding out hope that we can get orders here:
Yup... thats Hawaii. I think that would be a cool place to be for 3 years. If not that than hopefully near my family. Neither of which is likely, but a girl can dream right?!
I'm slowly starting to weed out all of our stuff. We have collected WAY too much junk over the years. I need to start on the basement next week. I've gotten so used to the constant change of moving, that I'm itching for it. I feel like we have been in one oceanless place for too long. Its time for change.
The not knowing where or exactly when is kinda driving me nuts though. I just want to know. That way I can make a "plan"... not that anything I can look at from my comphy couch will actually work out when we get there, but it makes me feel better to know what lies ahead.
Oh well... Waiting again. My whole life is about waiting.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
It's been seven years.
Dear Katie,
Seven years ago my heart stopped beating, but the world kept moving. You were there growing under my heart, and then you weren't. I am forever broken.
I sat there on the beach that day staring out to sea. Trying to will your little spirit to where ever your daddy was. Hoping for a minute you could be with him too. I sat in the cold sand numb, and trying hard not to fall apart. I remember letting the cold grains of sand run through my fingers just so I could focus on something other then the crushing emptiness inside of me. I left a big part of myself right there. A part that I will never get back.
You would be seven this year. You would be in first grade, all happy and pink and obsessed with Barbie like I was. You would have lived in six different houses, in six different towns. You have a little brother, who has no idea that he is your little brother. I watch him play and wonder if you would have looked like him. If you would have had blonde hair and blue eyes too.
Seven years later I still miss you. My heart is still breaking. A little less than it used to but this time of year my heart shatters all over again. I'm writing this to you so you know you’re missed, and loved.
I will always love you my baby.
Seven years ago my heart stopped beating, but the world kept moving. You were there growing under my heart, and then you weren't. I am forever broken.
I sat there on the beach that day staring out to sea. Trying to will your little spirit to where ever your daddy was. Hoping for a minute you could be with him too. I sat in the cold sand numb, and trying hard not to fall apart. I remember letting the cold grains of sand run through my fingers just so I could focus on something other then the crushing emptiness inside of me. I left a big part of myself right there. A part that I will never get back.
You would be seven this year. You would be in first grade, all happy and pink and obsessed with Barbie like I was. You would have lived in six different houses, in six different towns. You have a little brother, who has no idea that he is your little brother. I watch him play and wonder if you would have looked like him. If you would have had blonde hair and blue eyes too.
Seven years later I still miss you. My heart is still breaking. A little less than it used to but this time of year my heart shatters all over again. I'm writing this to you so you know you’re missed, and loved.
I will always love you my baby.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Weekly Wednesday Weigh-in.
1. Reiterate my goal and where I stand in reference to this goal. (BMI info from this website)
I didn't lose anything thing this week. I think maybe AF is around the corner. ( With PCOS you never really know.)
Starting BMI: 30.8
Starting weight: 227
Last Week’s Weight: 227
Current Weight:224
Goal Weight : 190
Last Week’s BMI: 30.8
Current BMI:30
Goal BMI: 25
2. Discuss what I am going to do to achieve my goals.
I'm still going to use the lose it app to track my calories.
Last week I felt kinda bad when I ran, so I think for a while I'm going to lay off running, and do some work out dvds to build myself up to a point that I can run more easily.
I'm still going to drink more water. Some days I did really good. Others the Crystal lite and Diet Pepsi called to me a little too loudly.
Bloggers I follow that are participating:
If you want to join in just leave me a comment, so I can follow your progress too!
The Donor Diva is TTC #2
If you’re doing it too please leave a comment. I wasn't able to get to most of your blogs. I had an issue with the comments. But I think it is fixed now.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Wednesday Weigh In.
1. Reiterate my goal and where I stand in reference to this goal. (BMI info from this website)
Starting BMI: 30.8
Starting weight: 227
Last Week’s Weight: 227
Current Weight:224
Goal Weight : 190
Last Week’s BMI: 30.8
Current BMI:30
Goal BMI: 25
2. Discuss what I am going to do to achieve my goals.
I'm using the Lose it app to track my calories. I really like it a lot. Now it has a feature that allows you to scan the bar code on you food and all the nutrition info pops up. So easy and so cool!
I want to complete week one on my beginner running program.
I'm going to eat a salad every day.
I'm going to drink more water.
3. Try to motivate others to join in on trying to lose weight
Hub is on board now! He got up and went to the gym this am! I’m so happy he's not wasting the free gym membership that he got a few weeks ago.
Bloggers I follow that are participating:
If you want to join in just leave me a comment, so I can follow your progress too!
The Donor Diva is TTC #2
4. Post a (reasonably healthy) recipe that I’ve tried, a cooking tip, a new idea for working out for people to try, a photo update of my weight loss, or anything else I feel like sharing.
I'm working on digging up some good healthy recipes that I will post as soon as I test them.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Day 1 week 1
I managed to run even though my hip is still a bit sore. I wish I knew what I did to it, so I don't do it again!
I finished all 20 minutes of time today. I feel pretty good! I hate that I got so out of shape.
Hub got in on the fitness with me. He saw that I had saved my workout schedule on the computer and he's doing it with me. Although I think it might be too easy for him, but at least he's doing something. :) It's easier when he is on board with my weight loss, and trying to drop a few too, because that way he won't be bugging me to go out and eat junk.
All our snow is gone. It rained and thunder stormed all night, and its about 50 out right now. I can't really say I’m too sad about it because I REALLY hate snow.
Off to go clean and do laundry.
I finished all 20 minutes of time today. I feel pretty good! I hate that I got so out of shape.
Hub got in on the fitness with me. He saw that I had saved my workout schedule on the computer and he's doing it with me. Although I think it might be too easy for him, but at least he's doing something. :) It's easier when he is on board with my weight loss, and trying to drop a few too, because that way he won't be bugging me to go out and eat junk.
All our snow is gone. It rained and thunder stormed all night, and its about 50 out right now. I can't really say I’m too sad about it because I REALLY hate snow.
Off to go clean and do laundry.
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