Meet Jack

Jackson Phillip Born 8-8-2010 5 lbs 13 oz 18 1/2 in long.

He stole my heart the moment I saw him. When I finally got to hold him it was the most amazing moment of my life. We had a rough start at things but he is home and healthy now. And despite all the drama, medical and personal induced, (more later) his birth was perfect, and I wouldn't change it if I could.

I'm working on his birth story but it might be a little while because, he is so cute I can't put him down.

The pic with the thumb on his head is his daddy's thumb he took it to show me how little he really is. (I didn't get to see him his whole first day. My BPs were insane and I had to stay in bed on Magnesium.)

Hey another list...

So ... am at the hospital...

Am getting induced...

waiting on the pill to thin my cervix...

Am 1 cm dilated and 70% effaced....

Am waiting...

Jack will be here soon...

So...

That last post... I wasn't going to post it. But I did. I was /am mad at Hub and that is most likely why my bp went up. But I still maybe shouldn't have posted all that... It sorta made me sound a little nuts I know. I was tired, and stressed, and really unhappy about spending 5 long hours in the hospital.

So things I learned for my hospital visit last night...

1) Jack is upside down... or the med student can't read an ultra sound. ( she really did think his abdomen was his head at first.)

2) My hospital reuses the bands for the baby & contraction monitors. ... EWWWW! plus they are totally the single use kind, and fall apart if you reuse them.

3) They also use the BP cuffs till they have holes in them... yup you guessed it... I got both.

4) My mom and Hub feed off of each other's crazy, when it comes to me... I don't know but maybe that is sweet... I just wish they would listen to me a little too before they make a decision.

The Hospital... Agian.

So tonight I spent 5 hours laying in a triage bed in L&D. My BP was up... well yeah duh... I knew it was up... I knew why it was up but no one listens to me. So the Dr was called and in I went.

We got there and every piece of equipment in the room was broken... the straps on the monitor and the bp cuff. So I knew that wasn't a good sign. Then they sent a med student in and she did an ultrasound. She wasn't very good, as at first she thought Jack's belly was his head. The beating heart was a dead give away for me. Then she determined he is breech now... YAY!... NOT!! Kid has been head down for at least a month. You have got to be kidding me!! So now next time I have an issue I will have a c section... because he is upside down. Great!

OH! You want to know why my BP was up huh?... yeah that would be Hub... he's driving me nuts!!! It's all about him and he's going to do what ever he wants to do and he doesn't care what anyone says... including me... SO today after a long few days worth of discussion about weather or not we would get a new AC unit. We decided to pass and maybe possibly get one when Hub gets his bonus in Oct. Because we really can't afford to buy a whole lot of stuff on top of all the things we have had to get for Jack. So yeah... bet you can't guess what he did today?.... Yeah he went out and bought said Ac unit leaving us nearly broke for the rest of the pay period... ( two weeks from now... that's when... ) He left with out saying a word to me or my mom. Why because he doesn't think about anyone but himself!!! Then he tried to tell me I said we could get one... HAHAHAHAH! NEVER!!!!

He also was the driving force behind me going to the hospital, because he wouldn't leave me alone to calm down and get my head around the Ac debacle, and find an intelligent way to get him to return it. But I felt like crap as my BP went up and up because I was beyond mad, because my opinion has no bearing on decisions but his dad who lives 10000000 miles away in Utah does... SO I went to lay down in my room. I wanted to be alone. But he wouldn't give up. He kept coming in to "check" on me. He noticed my BP was up... and went and got my mom who had no idea how mad I was at that moment. She freaked out and they jumped on the band wagon and called my Dr. YAY! By the time I got out of there she finally realized that I was pissed... (still am for that matter) and that was why my BP was soaring. So of coarse my Bp was okay ( 140's / 80's 90's) at the hospital. GIANT WASTE OF TIME!!!

Now we are home... I am more upset... 1) because Jack is upside down... and I feel like I failed again... 2) because I don't seem to matter in my own house as he wont even talk about the AC thing now ... 3) because if I want that Ac unit returned I'm going to have to go fishing through his wallet for the receipt and do it while he is at work. Which will cause WW3... but its going to take WW3 to get him to do it anyhow.

PS... AC UNIT is totally un-needed as the 2 we had in the kitchen area were cooling things off. Also its hotter then hell in here... Why? you ask, after all the AC fighting? Because Hub doesn't want to run it... it uses too much power... unless we are sitting in front of it.
... Can I strangle him yet? Please?!!?

The Happenings ... In list form..

1) I spent the night at the hospital last Tues. For high BP, and Jack wasn't quite as responsive as they wanted him to be. They upped my BP meds, and Jack woke up a little while after we got to the hospital. My BP went down again, and they let me go the next morning.

2) I'm on bed rest... like really no shit bed rest. The kind where you are only supposed to get up to pee and possible eat something. I suck at it. Suck Alot. I can't rest if I know Jack is coming soon and I still need things for him.

3) My mom flew in on Wednesday. Shes going to camp out till Jack comes out.

4) Mom and I struck a deal... if they aren't making me have him tommrow, I get to go out to lunch and to Target... if I ride on a scooter... (YAY!) but then I must lay around and do nothing... So... here's hopeing kid stays in one more day.

5) Jack will be out with in the next two weeks... I'm thinking they will induce me on a Tuesday or Wednesday. (Dr's like weekends too.)

6) We got a new family member. His name is Hemi, and he is a Min Pin. We adopted him from people that I don't think really cared about him at all. So far he is a cute funny little guy. He and Buddy spend their time either ignoring each other, or playing and half getting along. I think they will be friends real soon.

10000 Panic Attacks Later.

Since the last post I've had about 10000 panic attacks, over big and little things. Big things like, will he be healthy, or will he have to stay at the hospital. Little things like we didn't buy any newborn sized clothes, because we thought he was going to be big. (HA!) Or that I'm getting all nesty in my head, and I can't do too much about it.

I've come to terms with the fact that he is coming early. Today the doc said that he thinks that Jack will be here between 35 and 36 weeks. That's two weeks from now at the max. That's a little scary, but at least I have an idea about when things will happen. The Doc also answered my questions about if he would have to stay at the hospital after he was born. Basically, he said that usually depends on three things. Size, ability to eat, and breathing. He said his size is good for his age. As of the last growth ultra sound, he was just under 5lbs. So that is a huge part of it. He said babies that size usually can eat on their own, and regulate their temp. His big concern is his breathing, but that is why he gave me the betamethazone shots.

Today I had the strep B test, and an ultra sound, and a non stress test and some blood work. I basically live at the doctor's office. I go twice a week and at least have a non stress test. Hub has been able to go with me to my appointments, in case something scary happens. I'm really glad for that.

Jack is still moving like crazy, and he's got good fluid around him which is a big concern. So far he still looks really good. My blood pressure is still up. It was like 145/95 this morning. Which isn't the highest it has been, but it still sucks.

Saturday is our baby shower, and I'm looking forward to that. Hub's aunt has put alot of work in to the party. Hub's dad is flying in on Friday. Hub has a meeting and has been invited to a baseball game with the Admiral tomorrow. He's doing really good at work, and I'm really proud of him. The Admiral knows his name, that is a really big deal. So in a few minutes I'm going to iron his dress whites so he looks really good. My mom is flying in the beginning part of next week, to stay until after Jack gets here. I'm glad she's coming, and I'm glad I was able to put her off until we had a clearer picture of what was going on. Tomorrow, I am going to get my hair and pedicure done. Because I deserve it.

Hard to say.

I've been trying to write this post for about a week now. I wanted to get as many facts as I could first. I have preeclampsia and Jack will be born early. So far everything seems to be under control. I have twice weekly OB apts now and this week if you include my trip to the hospital on Sunday for really high BP I'll be going 4 times. Yesterday for an NST and a steroid shot for Jack's little lungs, today for an Ultrasound and a second shot for Jack's lungs, and Friday for another Non Stress test.

I'm scared out of my mind. I don't want to hurt Jack. I know the best place for him is right where he is for as long as possible. The OB wont give me a ballpark on when he thinks Jack might have to be born he just said prepare yourself for him to be early. All I know is I'm not ready yet. I'm only 32 and a half weeks. I want him to be big and strong enough not to have to stay in the hospital, but I think if hes born soon he would have be in the NICU a while. It breaks my heart knowing that my body is failing him, and I can't stop it.

So far every NST they have given me he looks great, all responsive and kicking the monitor thing like "get this the hell off me!" (No I really have no idea where he's already got so stubborn from.) Today I get to see him again. They are measuring how big he is, and how much fluid he has around him. I know he at least was head down, because I was getting his little feet under my scar that is at the top of my belly right under my rib cage.

I'm thinking of packing my hospital bag soon, as I have no idea when he will have to be born. That is the part that scares me the most, not any of the hundreds of things that could happen to me. But having to have him soon, and him not being ready for it. I stayed up half the night thinking and whispering to him that I know he is strong and that if the time comes and its still really soon like this I need him to fight.

This weekend Hub's aunt and uncle from way up north are coming to visit on Saturday and we are having a lunch on Sunday to finish up the plans for my baby shower that is next weekend, and I sorta wish no one were coming here. Because that means I'll have to clean and entertain them and I'm not much up to it at the moment. Maybe once the U/S shows that he is good and not in any danger soon I'll feel better, but not right now.

I'll let you all know what the OB says today.

NH trip and Baby Shower # 1.

Okay I know we got back a week ago. It's been hard to write.

We left Mi, and drove across Canada. We got to stop in Niagara Falls on the way up and back, and we decided that when we go to my mom's at Christmas we are going to make that our first day stopping point. It was fun to think about pushing a stroller with our son in it around that city.



We got to my mom's and it was really great to be home. I miss it there, even though its not the home I left. The whole town changed, and the places that have always been there look old, compared to all the new stores and restaurants.

I had a really good time hanging out with my mom. I miss her already, and September can't come soon enough. Even though that means I wont be pregnant anymore. My mom is coming to see her grand baby be born. She is so excited.

My baby shower was great. More than I thought it would be. My great uncle came and sang the whole time. I had a great time seeing everybody. We got a lot of very nice and useful baby things. I think my mom bought out the baby department in every store around her. Jack wont need clothes till he is at least nine months old.









We also had family pictures done. My mom has been wanting to do it for a long time.





I've been working on finishing Jack's room. I hung all of his clothes up. I still need to wash them... but they aren't in the crib or laundry basket anymore. I'm 99% done with the mural on his wall. I just have the monkey to finish, and the sky to fix, and details to add in. Then his dresser can come in and I can paint his changer that goes on top of it. ( Its white right now... its going to be blue to match the water in the mural.) Once his dresser comes into the room, I can put all of the odds and ends in it, and have alot of much needed closet space back, to put diapers and things we might get at our 2nd shower, on 7-24. Right now stuff is piled everywhere, and its a big giant mess in there. I want that to be fixed before the 24th so I can just add to it, and not have to worry about it after. Hub needs to hang his name on the wall above the crib, I still need to trim off some of the excess paint that dripped off of them too. I need to get a couple of baskets for toys and small things. I also need to start cleaning out parts of the house for some of his other stuff. Who knew someone so small could have so much stuff. :)

**Also I just read that... and Nesting much... yeah I think its starting to kick in. lol

Third Trimester.

How did this happen so quickly?! I swear I just saw that stick say PREGNANT yesterday. Now I have this amazing little guy growing and moving in my belly. I'm shopping for a baby shower dress, and starting to have a hard time bending and moving around. ( ie. Gee I thought I'd be able to fit through there... Guess not... ) I see my reflection in the mirror and I can't believe how big and round my belly is getting. This is going by too fast. I think maybe I'm crazy because I actually like being pregnant. I like it alot and wish I could slow it down. Yeah there's back pain and heart burn so bad that I want to use a fire extinguisher, but it doesn't matter, I love being pregnant. I love feeling Jack move around in there. Lately I can feel him petting my belly, opening and closing his little hand on my belly. It's pretty amazing. He bumps and kicks and wiggles, and I never want that to stop. At the same time though I can't wait to meet this little guy. He already stole my heart. I'm so happy that we made it here, and that Jack is growing and he is okay.

We went up north this weekend, and saw one of Hub's cousins graduate from high school. When we got home I caught Hub in the baby's room making a little outfit from his clothes. He was fussing over things, and that was the first time he let me see him do that. He had this reserved block (just short of letting himself show all of his emotions) just in case things didn't go so good. That block is gone now and it amazes he how happy he has been underneath that block. Not that he wasn't happy before, but now the wall came tumbling down. I think it's because if Jack was born right now he would survive. Hub let down his wall, and was in there looking through all of the little baby clothes I've been collecting. There is something so amazing looking at the father of your child with a tiny shirt in his hand. He is so in love with this baby too, and all I could do was hug him.

In the next month and a half there will be two baby showers. The first of which I am looking forward to alot. I get to go home and see my mom and family. I haven't been home in a long time, and I miss them. The other one will be a big one with Hub's side of the family. I can't believe how many people love this little guy already.

26.. going on 27.

Yeah. I know. I've been a bad blogger. I haven't updated in a while and my comments have been lacking. Sorry... life is boring, and busy all at the same time.

Hub's grandfather died about a week ago. He hadn't seen him in about 8 years. Not because of any fight or anything like that. He had Alzheimer's and his children put him in a home that was too far away for anyone to visit, including Hub's grandmother. They were each other's second mar rage but were married for about 25 years. I know she missed him very much. He was part of the reason Hub joined the Navy. He fought during WWII. They gave him a military funeral, complete with a 21 gun salute. Jack jumped so hard I thought he was going to come out the front of my belly. Hub got to be part of the honor guard, and I know that he got some closure out of that. He also got to give the flag to his grandmother at the funeral. Hub was one of two of his grand kids who joined the Navy because of him.

On a happier note.

I am two weeks away from my first baby shower, and going home to see my Mom. I can't wait. Heck I would pack right now if I didn't need half the stuff I'd pack before then. I can't wait to see my Mom. I can't wait till she can feel Jack kick, and see how much he's grown. I wish she could be here to see it all happen, but she's going to be here to see him born and that means the world to me.

I' m still working on Jack's room. I've gotta get more paint to finish the mural, and paint the letters I got that spell his name. I spent about an hour organizing all the things in his closet to make room for the baby shower stuff. Not that we had got him a ton of stuff or anything, it was just all thrown in there and a mess. The diapers were taking up 2/3 of the whole closet, because they were stacked like jinga tiles. Plus I got to look at all his little clothes. I found a sample of diapers that we got when we did our registry. They are newborn size and I couldn't believe how tiny they are. They fit in the palm of my hand. It blows my mind.

Yesterday I discovered a growing puddle in our basement. It was huge! I couldn't get in there to see where it was coming from but I thought it was our hot water heater. Hub checked it out and sure enough it was the drain valve. He capped it last night. So hopefully that will fix it.

Jack kicks all the time, and it still makes my face light up every time. He gets the hiccups, sometimes very hard, and Hub got to feel him hiccup last night. Last night I was woken up because Jack launched himself off of my hip and it hurt like hell. I nearly screamed. Then I figured out that he was suddenly on the complete other side of my belly, and his back wasn't facing out for the first time all week, so this morning and all night I got to feel all the kicks that I had been feeling only faintly for a week. It made for a rough nights sleep, but it was worth it. I'll take baby kicks over sleep any day.

Oh well.. there's a mountain of things that I have to do today. Like all the things that require hot water, as I was scared to use it yesterday.